Would like to praise God and share how amazed I am.
First off. Would just like to explain how I was. I fell away from God shortly after I graduated from High School. Slowly I fell deeper and deeper into this world. It got to the point where life was depressing. It was the same thing day after day. Driving to work became so frustrating due to the way people drove. I was either cut off, or I would have to slam on my brakes, or be stuck behind someone who must have read the sign as 40 instead of 60mph. I was at my wits end. I put it in my mind that there was no God, that if there was, life wouldn't be this miserable.
Well. While I was outside smoking on one of my breaks. Something dawned on me. "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made..." - Romans 1:20
Though at that point in my life, I had never read that verse. It wasn't until later that I saw it and remembered. It was at that moment that I started to think about my hands, the sun and the moon. How they each play their part. It wasn't chance that I had hands. It wasn't chance that I could see the sky. It wasn't chance that I could breathe the air. It wasn't chance that I could drink water. It wasn't chance that I had emotions towards others. It wasn't chance that I could feel.
I went back to studying whenever I could. I still had my doubts. I didn't know for sure. Even studying became frustrating. I began to get angry at God. I threw my bible across the room. Why couldn't He just reveal Himself? How could I even trust the bible?! I told Him that if He had better show Himself. I was tired of wondering. I wanted to know for sure.
Well, the next day I logged into my netflix account to find a movie to watch. I was surprised to find after logging in a recommended movie about the history of the bible. I watched it and I learned a lot of useful information. I later found a website that studied Daniel and his prophecies. It wasn't until I got to Daniel chapter 11 that I finally stood up and wanted to scream "AHHHH HE IS REAL!!!"
Daniel Webpage I was excited for awhile. I went back to studying with a smile on my face. I was still missing something though. I couldn't understand the meaning behind the cross. No matter how hard I tried to understand it. I couldn't. I felt nothing when I thought of it. Things started to die down for me again. I started playing World of Warcraft again forgetting about God and rejoining my friends. It got to the point where I had no interest in reading the bible. I didn't care to talk about God.
After about 3 to 4 months of that I knew I was going to be in trouble if I didn't get back with God. I asked God to send me someone to help bring me back to Him. I knew He was there. I didn't want to just throw Him out. A few weeks went by. There was a new guy at work. I was a complete jerk to him. I knew everything at work and I didn't feel like sharing my knowledge with the new guys. Every now and then I would enjoy poking fun at my Buddhist coworker about evolution being a joke. Well interestingly enough, the new guy made a statement. The chances for evolution would be like the chances for a tornado going through a trailer park and putting together a boeing 747.
Ah HA! A fellow believer. We started talking religion. I asked his beliefs and told him mine. I wanted to prove him wrong but had forgotten everything I had studied. So I went back to studying. It was this time that God had me focus more on the cross. It was what I needed to show this guy where he was going wrong. In the process. God taught me many many many valuable things. I shouldn't be reading the bible to prove someone wrong! I now had a much better understanding of the cross(though I still aim to understand the depths of His love).
Now I have found that the bible is a book full of promises. It has promises for all levels of faith. "For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith." - Romans 12:3
Yes, each man has a measure of faith. We all start from level 1. Through out the bible there are promises given to us. Some are basic, and some require much faith. We start with the basic. They begin to build up that faith to where we can accept the bigger promises.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” -Psalms 32:8
“I will give you a new heart, I will put a new spirit within you. I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” -Ezekiel 36:26
I claimed those two as my first. God does not lie, so when He says He will do it. Just believe and He does it. I now have peace when I drive to work. In fact, I love going to work! Though God still has much work to do on me. But God reminds me. "Behold I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?" - Jeremiah 32:27
He has done a lot for me. He gave me a great church family. A believing friend at work. The other day He told me to throw out my smokes, that I would learn to rely on Him more. Anytime I get a craving I let Him know and He gives me the strength to over come. How amazing is our God? I can't believe I lived most of my life thinking people were full of it. God proved Himself to me. I'll never walk alone anymore.
God bless you all.
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